Returning / Perhaps

Unclear if contemplating / executing a return to these pieces is the solution to an actual problem or the solution to a problem erected of my brain’s need to have problems to solve that are far less challenging than the narrative problems in the work in progress.

But I am here, so I might as well make the most of it.

The problem that I hope this iteration of my unvarnished meanderings will solve is a general lack of gusto upon returning to my office after breakfast as well as my recurrent quarterly loathing of online existence (but that can wait). I’m up here by 0600, depart to eat a diabetically-mandated breakfast at 0700, then return around 0750-0800, after the feeding of the dog children and subsequent general revolving door and a persual through the morning’s news (which may be at the root of the problem as I’ve yet to convince myself that I can safely avoid the news during these writing hours).

Whereas writing in my journal is the opening illegible release of the first block, its luster is lost upon the return, an obligation rather than a joy (before reverting to a joy as the WIP slog marches on). And so here I am, typing and hoping that these pieces will help return my brain to the writing and to the blank pages of the work in progress and perhaps, gasp, even give me something approximating enjoyment for even a scintilla of time before they too become relegated to the domain of obligation.

(TW)